Baby Classes - AKA Lamaze

Heather and I have been going to several classes recently. First the tour, followed by the "baby basics," then to our 5-week Child Birth Preparation class. This Preparation class, called such for the boys, but commonly referred to as Lamaze, is something that makes me feel less than comfortable. I won't shy around it. Our first class, which was last Monday focused initially on what to expect from this class - we got a syllabus and all. Really, I just like writing syllabus (even more, I like saying that silly word!). It has a nice collection of consonants - I'll let you work that out. Back on topic, we broke up into several groups like we used to in day camp. Boys in one group, girls in the other. Our task was to talk about our 'likes' and 'dislikes' of pregnancy. Okay, so let me make this note, Lamaze, not what I expected. I got to record the boys' thoughts. We collectively liked: Feeling the baby movements; family excitement; ice cream; ice cream twice a day sometimes; etc. Dislikes: the pain our other feels at times; not knowing what to expect; ice cream; etc.

We finished up the first class by learning how to relax our bodies (a bit more of what I expected from a Lamaze class). Lights dimmed low, laying on the floor with our blanket and two pillows. I got to rub heather's back. I think I almost fell asleep. Though, while on the floor we were still pretty close to other couples as they tried to relax. I kept hoping that the influence on my belly from the previous nights dinner wouldn't surface and affect the other couple within range. (I felt much better once we got to the parking garage later).

This week we got a more in depth appreciation of what the different stages of labor are. I too, was much more comfortable walking into the hospital with our required blanket and pillows. We watched a mock delivery with a baby doll, a uterus made of yarn (imagine an over sized winter hat with a smaller opening that looked like a sock), and a fake, but life like pelvis. It was good to see. I think we get to watch an actual video next week. Fun!

This class was full of cryptic words like 'lightening,' which doesn't refer to what you see in the sky during a thunderstorm, rather the dropping or lowering of the baby into a more favorable location for birth. Another was 'effleurage!' Heather asked me what that was (cause we saw the word first on a poster), my response was "I think its something you drink." Wrong! We were introduced to this word later in the class during the relaxation session. Effleurage, Eff-leur-age, a rhythmic stroking of the abdomen. Again, fun! Ohhh, another word - Fundus. Fundus, Latin for "bottom," is an anatomical term referring to the portion of an organ opposite its opening. So in our case, we started our "Effleurage" at the "Fundus!" - This is located at the top of the belly, or bottom of the uterus. See, we are all learning something!

Another fun activity was the "empathy belly!" This was a strap-on version of what woman think their bellies look and feel like. Bonus were the fake breast! It weighed in at 25 pounds, but since I was such a nice person, the instructor added an additional 5 pounds. We each got to wear the belly for 10 minutes. We were to conduct such easy tasks as bending over to pick up something on the floor - this wasn't as easy as it appeared. I had to gracious spread my legs to accommodate my increased mid-section size. Also, I almost toppled over. I got to sit with it for one of the exercises we were doing. This put extreme pressure on my urinator reservoir - although an unintentional experience, I feel for Heather and her frequent trips to the restroom.

Lastly, we, i.e. heather, learned different variations of breathing. Sounds odd huh since it is a pretty easy concept. Inhale, exhale - repeat. Well, we were to inhale over a 5-4-3-2-1 count and to exhale doing the same 5-count. This was our "easy" breathing. Next was the inhaled "heeee," exhaled "haaaaw." Then we went and got all crazy and introduced the "heeee, haaaaw, heeee, haaaaw, heeeee, quick exhale out (referred to as a blow)." We practiced these different variations of breathing for 60 seconds durations - To mimic the approximate length of a contraction. Sweet!

Like I mentioned, next week is the video. I am sure we'll get to do more on the floor relaxation stuff, too! Until then, stayed tuned. BTW, this class has been very insightful, and despite my early mockery, I am glad we are doing it!